Honor

Honor.

A basic principle that has been very lost in today's society.

Honor.

A foundation of the faith. If we believe in God and fear God, then we will honor Him.

Honor.

Jesus says it is key to receiving. "Only in his hometown is a prophet without honor." And in his hometown Jesus found he could do very few miracles. It is not that Jesus was lacking in power, for He is capable of doing many miracles! But when people refused to believe in Him, therefore, dishonored him, God could not be given glory through their lives.

Honor is essential in all relationships. If we honor God, He is pleased to work through us to His glory. If we honor others, bring more glory to God and we improve the success of those relationships. Those who give honor will receive honor in return. Even in circumstances where we are mistreated, our enemy shall have nothing to say against us if we show them honor.

As I reflect on the power of honor, I am well aware that I have often failed to show honor in the past. For all authority is given by God, and those who are in position of authority deserve honor, whether or not they are of good character. Even David did not dishonor King Saul when Saul was attempting to kill him, for he knew that Saul had been anointed by God for a purpose. How I long to be like that! I want to acknowledge the greater purposes God has.

In watching John Bevere's "Honor's Reward" series, and in finding passages of scripture about honor, I am convicted by the extreme importance of this principle.

Honor is to value. Dishonor is to treat as common. When we honor God, we value Him for who He is and for what He says He can do. We believe Him, trust Him. If we do not honor God, then we cannot truly have the fear of the Lord. And if we do not have the fear of the Lord, we do not have the foundation of wisdom. He who desires true wisdom will place his own life back in the hands of his Creator, developing honor and fear for who our God is. Do we treat our God as common? Do we forget to sing His praise? Do we forget to treat His Name as holy? Do we forget that He has made us for His purposes? Do we speak to Him as if He exists for our good? No, we shall not dishonor our LORD in this manner. We will learn to value Him.

Do we lack the power of God in our lives? Do we fall short of wisdom? Do we feel as though we can never hear God? Maybe we are living in dishonor.

Developing Patient Endurance

Well, my life has never gone quite as I planned. :) Still isn't! I was going to go to music school, become a professional singer, travel and lead worship, record a few CDs... hm. When I decided that I didn't like performance, (although I still love leading worship), I found my love of naturopathic medicine and India. Although becoming a doctor was my plan, it doesn't seem to be God's plan for me. (At least not at this point in my life.) So, no, I am not going to pre-med school this fall.

Staying is a very difficult thing for me. I have now lived in the same town for three years, and I have yet to finish a Bachelor's degree or get a full-time job. Being me, I should have moved on and done something with my life by now. I love this town, but I still wonder what is "next."

The Lord has a purpose for all this, I know. :) I have grown SO much since I have "stayed." I have found a wonderful church family and have become involved in relationships and ministry. I have developed friendships and learned to interact with people very different from myself. I have learned to depend more on the Lord and walk with Him in the simplicity of everyday life. I have been through physically and emotionally trying times and found that the Lord IS my strength, my song, and my salvation. He is the Hope I rest in.

"The testing of your faith produces patient endurance..."

And so we REJOICE in all things! We REJOICE that we have been counted worthy of suffering, that we may know Christ and be found in Him. <3

Nothing but Everything

I've been accepted to pre-med school! Of course, I am excited for this next adventure in life... applying to naturopathic medical school is almost in view!

There is so much, however, that might (and will!) happen between now and then. I am busy working and leading worship. I have to prepare for moving. There are many decisions to make. Once I'm in school, finding a way to understand chemistry will be a priority! Ha.

Friends and family here, I'm sorry to leave you for so far away and for a long commitment. Of course, you are always welcome to visit me. But far above all things is my desire to follow my Lord.

Tonight during musical worship at church, I was taken back to another setting- where I wore a saree, men and women sat separated, and we sang in a mixture of English and Tamil.

I miss that.

In the words of young missionary Genessa Wells, "I could give up and get married and become (insert career). All of this is very noble and to be quite honest, sounds good to me! But in my heart, I want to change the world- more than I want a husband and more than I want comfort. I need... to tell others about Jesus."

Interestingly enough, "All I Need is You" by Hillsong United is playing right now on Pandora. Oh to remind myself!

My heart cries out, "Lord, let me have a broken heart for the broken-hearted!" I want to be a doctor. A counselor. A teacher. A missionary. A worship leader. A minister of the gospel.

We are all sick. We are all dying in sin- but we have not been left rejected and alone to die! We have a choice. We can let ourselves die, or we can go to the Great Physician and let Him do whatever must be done for our Healing. The healing may be painful, but we will ultimately be cured. We will be set free from all sin, shame, and pain.

Wholeness.

That was my response to fall 2008 retreat's question: If you could sum up what you are most passionate about in ONE word...?

Wholeness. Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual health... wholeness. We derive the word "Holiness" from Wholeness. It is a fullness, a completeness. Undivided. Full of health.

My passion is to see people, women in general, abused women specifically, living new lives of wholeness.

This is why I am going back to school. I must remind myself that the end goal is higher than any secondary goals I may have. I must fix my eyes on the unseen, rather than the temporary "seen."

"It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick..."

"When Jesus saw the multitudes, He had compassion on them..."

And Jesus said to the woman at the well... "if you drink the water I give, you will never thirst again!"

Jesus said to the woman caught in adultery... "I do not condemn you either... go now and leave your life of sin."

Jesus said of the woman weeping on His feet, "I tell you, her sins- and they are many- have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love." To her: "Your sins are forgiven. Your faith has saved you; go in peace."

And they are MANY...

Until we come to that point of brokenness, we don't experience that depth of love and forgiveness.

And WE have been given this ministry of Reconciliation- we plead "Come back to God!" For we have been made right with God through Christ.

Oh! to say: (2 Cor 6:10) Our hearts ache, but we always have joy. We are poor, but we give spiritual riches to others. We own nothing, and yet we have everything.

California Girl.

California girl... you are a blessing.

I remember the first time I heard about you. "So, there's this really awesome girl moving here from California, and you two should become friends." Me thinking: Okay? She's athletic, I'm not... so this should be interesting.
We met. We spent time with mutual friends. I thought you were pretty crazy- pretty radical. A city girl. :) But we became housemates, and we found so much to talk about.
We had early mornings together- eating breakfast in silence, having our devotional time. We watched sports. We listened to big band music together and watched movies. We drank coffee and discussed theology, politics, books, views on life, and analyzed ourselves. After I visited California and your family with you, I understood you so much better.

We have laughed together, cried together, and prayed together. You have become one of my best friends. I have LOVED seeing the changes God has done in both of us. And as you are back to California for this next adventure, I am EXCITED for you, because I know you will THRIVE. I am positive that God will use you for beautiful blessings to others.

I look forward to seeing you soon... Chicago, LA, or my wedding in MN. (LOL!)

* Like sunlight burning in midnight/ making my life something so beautiful/ mercy reaching to save me/ all that I need/ You are so beautiful, beautiful..

He is making us beautiful, as He is beautiful. <3

Love you!

India: I miss you.

The sounds of "Zara Zara" are in my background... oh India I miss you! I have been longing to return, and it is getting stronger lately. What exactly I would do- teach English, sing, work with Project Rescue, help the physical therapists... I'm not sure. But I am ready to go back and share the love of God for this people group.

I love Indian culture. I would love to flee the confines of American society for the poverty of India. Not that Money is not an idol in India, for it definitely is, but I am less conscious of fulfilling desires and more concerned with filling needs and being a respectable Indian woman. (ex: my only concerns with my clothing are that it is modest and culturally appropriate)

I have always admired Mother Theresa and "Amma" Amy Carmichael. I still long to visit Dohnavur. What beautiful love they lived for their Saviour!
I realize not everyone is called to live a life of poverty in a foreign country, but oh that we would all have the spirit of poverty! May we become givers, servants, and missionaries wherever the Lord may have us.

This blog post is a bit all over the place, but that is how my mind is right now- so filled with ideas and dreams.

Morning

Oh life decisions!
My mind changes every day.
I should write something, perhaps, about the beautiful snow and the crisp winter air. Or maybe about the joys of being free from the upcoming finals. But I am restless. Of course I am enjoying the weather and NOT being in school! I am wandering inside, however. I am drawn to new places, to new experiences, and to new me. I want to be new. I want to wake up one day and be a fresh breath of air.
Hmm... I just realized that I don't look forward to the unknown. It's hard to get excited about nothing. Not that I don't have things to get excited about! Okay, it is almost eleven o'clock at night... which means I should be in bed and not musing about life. Sorrow may last for the night, but joy comes with the morning... <3

My heart goes out...

India. Prostitution. Abuse. Orphans. Poor drinking water. Poor sanitation. Low literacy. Worship of other gods...
My heart breaks for them.
I dreaded going on the temple tour in Madurai. When I was inside, I just wanted to get out. I could hardly breathe, and I felt unwelcome. When a woman walked up and stuck a bindi on my forehead, I felt it burning me and I wanted nothing more than to rip it off!.. which I did, once she walked away. My companions were marvelling, taking photos, and excited to receive the blessing from the temple elephant. I shied away. I stood, watching hundreds of men, women, and children, bowing before idols and placing offerings before them.
I cried.
I thought, "How the heart of God must break to see this!"
And then I had another startling thought-
"Doesn't His heart break to see us worshiping our own forms of idols?"

From Isaiah 44:
"I am the First and the Last; there is no other God. Who is like me? Let him step forward and prove to you his power."
"Who but a fool would make his own god- an idol that cannot help him one bit?"
"Such stupidity and ignorance! Their eyes are closed, and they cannot see. Their minds are shut, and they cannot think."
"I have swept away your sins like a cloud. I have scattered your offenses like a morning mist! Oh, return to me, for I have paid the price to set you free!"

He has paid the price to set us free.

And my heart goes out to those who walk in darkness, who waste their lives in seeking gods that cannot save...